Crisp & Clean

Max has been struggling with his dry cleaner. Pretty much every shirt comes back with creases down the front and back. Luckily Anna loaned him her recently designed multi-directional iron while he trys to implement some new Six Sigma quality programs at the cleaners.

Fun

Unlike Bill Gates, Max had fun losing his $7 billion last year.

Exit... Stage Left

Unfortunately, a norovirus made the inaugural use of Max's new vomitorium slightly different than expected. However, everyone was able to use the other vomitoria to exit the amphitheater while Anna and I cleaned up the mess.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, that's the last time I'll mention 'victory for the forces of democratic freedom' in an interview - yeah" - Max

Suggestions

If you know of a good place to buy daikon, then please leave a comment. Anna is looking to make some Bánh mì sandwiches tomorrow.

Is It Warm In Here?

Information is king. That is why Max uses a series of modified Rocchio text filtering algorithms to scan for interesting news articles across the world. Though, I am not sure how an article with "We're talking about babies potentially catching fire" was selected. Then again, I am not sure I want to know why either.

Annual Meeting

While not as well known as the Red Hat Society, the Orange Vest Society kicked off their annual meeting last Sunday.

Southpaw

Max will tell you it's easier to be green than left handed sometimes. At least he doesn't have to be reminded every time he walks around the house in his briefs thanks to some of his British friends.

Taste

Anna is still working on making rolled fondant taste as good as the rest of the cake.

Memories

Something tells me Max does not have super autobiographical memory. I mean, he doesn't even remember last night's dance party.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, just remember that you have no idea what I am wearing on those conference calls - yeah." - Max

Parking Violations

Rules are rules and Max will ticket you regardless if you are dead or alive.

iPod Interface

During our recent evaluation of Nissan's upcoming Leaf electric car, Anna and the lead engineers determined its incredibly silent engine could pose a safety problem for blind pedestrians. Anna and Tabata-san immediately started searching for just the right engine sound.

Max, on the other hand, decided to contact Apple Computer. I think using an iPod to select your own custom engine noise is awesome even if Max wants to charge me $35 per engine-tone from the iTunes Store.

Deep Thoughts

Anna headed down to the basketball court with her favorite pair of Chuck Taylors. That could only mean one thing: she's stuck. I'm guessing it's that Stardust experiment she did a few months ago. She still can't figure out where those amino acids came from.

Go Fish

Max has been tying up the phone all morning trying to contact the Swedish Fish nutrition hot line (1-800-524-2854). Anna assures him they do not put any fish or other seafood in the candy.

Happy Anniversary

The lawn chairs have all been setup and the catering van just arrived. The Fray completed their sound check a few hours ago and started playing Call of Duty with Max. I think even the disco ball is in place.

So we are just missing party hats, more ice, and frosting for the cake. I personally think red but Max says green. However, Anna is making the cake so she gets to decide what goes best on a Lehman Brothers anniversary cake.

The Long Winter Ahead

It's going to be a long winter for Anna. No one around here wants to talk about Bill's kidnapping at the end of True Blood season two.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, I can think of several reasons why you might want to build your own electromagnetic rail gun - yeah" - Max

A Rose By Any Other Name

Given our local bus driver's recent name change, Anna and I are now encouraging Max to start riding his bike to work before he gets any bright ideas.

Retraction

After Max's recent experiments with carrier pigeons in South Africa, Anna would like to retract some of her previous statements.

World Record

I think we are all indeed impressed by Sarah's speed and her new world record. However, let me note that she only has the fastest recorded time for a mammal. Have you ever seen Max run into the dinning room when a pot roast is served?

Support

Anna is wondering if Max really needs an HP Premier Support account. He doesn't even own any HP software. She guesses he just likes to talk on the phone.

A Tribute to Shakespeare

I am not exactly sure why but Max joined Anna at a recent Denver Field Ornithologists meeting. Though, despite the lack of a pot roast at the refreshments table Max was rather interested in the history of our local bird populations.

When he learned European Starlings were first introduced into North America as a tribute to William Shakespeare, he began thinking how he could honor J. R. R. Tolkien.

The presenter was horrified that Max missed the whole invasive species part of the talk.

Training Day

Anna is not a big fan of training wheels. Instead, she believes you should use a scoot bike to teach balance first. Once they have mastered the art of balance then they can then graduate to a regular bike. Starting with a regular bike and training wheels only teaches steering which can set kids back months or even years.

Anna feels so strongly about training wheels I think we're finally going to remove them from Max's bike.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, Red Bull never gives me wings... it just makes me kind of gassy - yeah." - Max

Verdana

Max was a little bored with all of the repetitive "how do I pronounce KAJSA TRÄD" type questions at IKEA's call center so he decided to spice things up a bit. Over dessert he convinced the advertising team to only use Verdana in the new catalog -- nothing keeps a customer call more lively than talking to an upset typographer.

Visions of Sugar Plums

As a marketing consultant, Anna can only suggest and recommend different options. The ultimate decision and responsibility is always with the client. That (and perhaps her Primal Meditation twice a day) explains why she sleeps so soundly at night even when her clients make some questionable choices.

For example, HealthBase.com was suppose to showcase NetBase’s innovative technology. Anna worked closely with Jens Telleffsen on how to best position and market their content intelligence platform and vision for semantic searching.

She also advised them to introduce these concepts to the general public is a very slow and precise manner. She suggested using small, well tested examples to capture people's imagination. Rushing a large scale test into production simply to take advantage of the current health debate in the US would be dangerous.

Well, last nighit Anna had visions of sugar plums dancing in her head while Jens struggled to contain the laughter caused by releasing HealthBase, now the number 4 health website in all of Kazakhstan, too soon.

No Parking

Anna would like to see them try.

Open Letter

Anamax Corporation
September 2, 2009

Antonio R. Villaraigosa
Mayor of the City of Los Angeles
200 N Spring St # 303
Los Angeles, CA 90012-3239

Get Directions

(213) 978-0600

Dear Mayor:

It has recently come to my attention that several small fires in your city are polluting the skies of Colorado. Letting your fires simply burn is quite rude and is blocking my sunshine. This summer has already been rather cloudy and I do not need your problems stealing more sunny days.

While I expect this type of childish behavior from Utah, I believe Los Angeles can do better. I politely ask that you take immediate action to correct the situation or I will be forced to take direct action myself.

Have a nice day.

Sincerely,
Max

War of the Worlds

Little does Brad Spellberg know that the increasing strength of infectious bacteria is actually being artificially encouraged and manipulated by Max ever since he read H. G. Wells' War of the Worlds. Those aliens really were scary.