Life Hacker

While Max is very outgoing (an ENTJ to be exact), it's no match for Anna's subtle yet confident take charge attitude in a crisis. For example, the other day Max was fixing one of the hinges on the bathroom door. I am not sure why he decided to use the small step stool but 10 minutes later we heard a string of expletives reminiscent of A Christmas Story come streaming out of the bathroom.

Moments later we found max sitting on the floor -- hinge in one hand, power drill in another, and a stripped screw hole. Anna quietly grabbed the drill from Max and had him fetch her golf tees, wood glue, and rubber mallet. No whining. No complaining. No blame storming. Just solutions.

You Are Not Alone

Max hates to lose a bet especially to his sales and marketing friends over at America's Test Kitchen. However, at last years All Things Organic trade show he wagered they would never use his "assumed sale" scam. I mean, sending someone a cookbook with an official looking invoice, even though they did not order it, hoping they will just pay for it without question? Don't include return postage to socially engineer anyone who might feel obligated? No way! Who would ever try that besides Max?

Well, Max now knows he is not alone in the world of questionable business practices. I guess that lesson was worth the dollar he bet.

Us vs. Them

Don't they understand... Max is far too busy to be working today.

Spin

Today we were playing Max's favorite word game over dessert at this deliciously unassuming and wonderfully home style restaurant called Govinda's. It's a simple game where we try to out spin doctor each other. The word of the day was layoffs. While I was taking the more humorous route by offering "brightsizing", he trumped me in between bites of banana bread with "focused restructuring". Damn, he is good!

Good Idea - Bad Idea

Good idea: Dressing up as a pirate or a rooster for Halloween.

Bad Idea: Per The Animaniacs, dressing up as a pinata for Halloween.

Millionaire Slumdog

Have you ever seen Max unshaven and hung over after a long night? It's not a pretty sight especially when Takita-san and him hit the karaoke bars. This morning was particularly bad given the A-list party invites they scored; I guess winning has is privileges.

However, while Max was yammering away on the conference call to the gang up in Yarmouth about how he lost one of his Chelsea boots, Anna fired up her netbook and did a little research. I certainly did not know non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDS) can be dangerous to people with heart problems. Luckily, Max is only a one or two on the New York Heart Association Functional Classification so he can be a little more careless with his headache remedies.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, we could do that... but it would be wrong - yeah." - Max

Smarter Than You Think I Are

I know Anna is very independent and assertive. I mean, her Chemehuevi name roughly translates to "Barks with Fury". However, I did not realize just how clever she was until today. For a few months now Max has been hounding her to sign a durable springing power of attorney for medical, finance, and Pupperoni. When she said yes at breakfast I cringed. Then she handed Max a revised copy stating her doctor and one of four other close friends would have to concur before it could ever take affect. Nice!

Economic Stimulus

For a few minutes we were quite happy today. Max was dancing around in his briefs waving the winning Zimbabwean lottery ticket. That's right, $600,000,000,000,000 Zimbabwean Dollars. Our two minutes of fame and fortune ended when Anna Googled the exchange rate. Not withstanding the most recent revaluation, it was around 300 trillion Z$ to 1 US$. Thus, a massive 2 US$ were racing towards us. After postage, taxes, and obligatory government bribes Max would probably lose money. Time for a nap.

Who Knew

Well, I am sure the smell of bacon would have eventually drawn me out of bed. Alas, it was the panic coming from the situation room the drove those peaceful images of Bonaire away. It's actually all too common in our house. Max with his legal team arguing about precedence and case law. Anna shouting expletives at the public relations firm.

I stood quietly at the door trying to figure out what had happened this time. Eventually the quacking of my ducky slippers added to the chaos as I walk towards the cease and desist papers we were just served. Hmmm -- who knew Dumpster was trademarked?

Irritation

Max was teaching his regular Tuesday morning design class when someone in the second row started to cough. If you know anything about Max you know the George Kovacs section of the book is almost sacred. However, without hesitation and smoother than the chrome on a tear drop lamp, Max passes down a fresh bottle of water and tells the student to bend her head forward to increase the effectiveness of the water. I cannot decide if I would rather have his presentation skills or his memory.

Good Idea - Bad Idea

Good idea: Taking a sleepy pill to help you rest at night.

Bad Idea: Per Dave Barry, taking a sleepy pill and a laxative together.

Yet Again

Max has been snubbed yet again by Mr. Obama. It appears the new president will be hosting an invitation only signing ceremony at the Denver Museum of Nature & Science for the new stimulus bill. However, while Anna's invitation was sent to her Sectera they said Max's invitation was "lost in the mail". I bet someone gets crossed off Max's Christmas card list.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, raw meat is kinda chewy - yeah." - Max

Feel The Love

Anna just gave Max a cute little gift for Valentine's Day. I guess she was a little bored after the farmer's market and decided to go pecking around Washington Park. On her way home she spied this little basket. I think it was green or red or perhaps blue. What ever it was, Max was so happy he went truckin' to his room saying he was going to keep it forever. I hope everyone can be as happy as Max today!

(with apologies to Al Feldman and Ella Fitzgerald)

Superstitious

Max has never been that superstitious but it is Friday the 13th and elections are coming up. Yes, the current president, Bingu wa Mutharika, has not been able to pass sweeping reforms but Max still finds hope in the Democratic Progressive Party. Who has a PhD in development economics after all?

Anyway, Max was hosting a small but influential political rally at the Queen of Sheba (a wonderful Ethiopian restaurant that has returned to its golden age) and the notion of Ayfe Celo and Buda was brought up. I do not speak fluent Chichewa like Max but I think they ruled it out with regards to the elections. Though, I swear he was using it to get more tsebhe sga from me -- the little bastard!

Soaking In Water

Not quite Bathtime in Clerkenwell but just as fun!

Speaking of water soluble, Max was rounding the other day at walk in clinic and decided to play House M.D but without the fake American accent or theme song. Leading the interns through a little brainstorming exercise, they eventually hit a subtle point: not enough water with your fiber supplements can cause impacted bowels. Always read the directions and if you have four legs use beef stew instead of water.

Art

While Max loves the edgier images of Alhadef Photography, his trained combat photographer eye is also drawn to the works of Art Silk. If you find yourself wandering the streets of Denver Colorado on the "First Fridays" of the month - or really any day - definitely stop by his gallery on Delaware Street.

Living Room Forts

Max thinks everyone should spend more time making forts in the living room.

Do Your Own Research

Max is very upset today! He just learned that Andrew Wakefield, the researcher who discovered a possible link between autism and vaccinations, forged his data. How can Max remain calm when he reads about recent vaccination (or lack there of) related deaths and then this?

Regardless, Max urges people to do their own research at PubMed, a service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine, and have a real conversation with their doctor. You might not catch forged research but studies show it's better than blindly following the herd.

Inspiration & Brownies

I was making some brownies this afternoon for a birthday party. Max, of course, was called from his post walk slumber and commanded into the kitchen. Disappointed by the lack of a pot roast, he casually mentioned adding an egg or two can make brownies chewier. One would never expect inspiration to have four legs.

Flank Steak

I recently visited a fun little Cuban bistro in Denver called Mojitos (6th & Downing, Denver Colorado). Of course, knowing Max was waiting at home for his share, I intentionally ordered something non-vegetarian: a delicious flank steak. It was simply wonderful as were the yuca and plantain side dishes.

However, the flank steak was not sliced by the kitchen. It's not an issue to me but Max was appalled. He insists that flank steak is always cut against the grain to make it more tender and the kitchen usually does it to ensure the proper cut. I guess his internship at the CIA paid off but it does make cooking for him a pain.