Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Max is always excited about road trips to California and this weekend was no exception. He even found a hotel with decent pillows. Anyway, we were watching Spaced on BBC America after a day of traveling when Max started screaming something about a UFO. I was a touched confused as well by a bright, fast moving object with none of the standard aircraft lights.

Luckily, Anna remembered a recent Skype call with Mike Fincke, ISS commander. The new solar array makes the ISS the second brightest object in the night sky -- brighter than Venus. A quick visit to N2YO confirmed her theory while completely shattering Max's dreams. I guess he'll have to save his "Take me to your leader speech" for next time.

April Showers Bring Mayflowers

"X" rarely marks the spot... nor does a rock.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, I think the cheese went bad - yeah" - Max

Out of Sync

NPR's Morning Edition recently hired Max to photograph one of his old friends in Pakistan, Roedad Khan. Luckily, Max had forgotten about the infamous "crossword puzzle incident" with Neal Conan so he quickly agreed under one condition: complete artistic control. Given his track record that didn't seem like a problem.

Of course Max went way too avant-garde. He immediately started to play with the rear flash sync settings on his D300. It makes for a wonderfully blurred background but that does necessarily sit well with traditional new outlets -- and a 10 minute tirade of expletives rarely persuades a senior news editor.

In the end NPR used a photo by Junaid. Well, Max still has fond memories of those legendary debates with Roedad on the role of government and the judiciary.

Springtime Was Canceled

Shortly there after Max called August junior and had a state of emergency declared.

Outsourcing

Max is always focused on increasing productivity regardless of economic downturns or regressions. He investigates everything from the latest visualization technology to more efficient beef stew with dumplings recipes in hopes of saving a few minutes or cutting costs by a tenth of a percent. However, his latest idea seems a little extreme. I think we need to draw the line at outsourced electronic prayers despite how ecumenical it might be.

You Don't Need To Know

I think Anna is hiding something. I mean, she is not a big gamer yet she started playing a new online version of Missile Command with one of her old class of '76 buddies, Kevin. Max also noticed a new overdue book fine on the family library card.

Hmmm, North Korea schedules a launch and Anna forgets to return some random journal featuring Ballistic Missile Trajectory Prediction Using a State Transition Matrix. Whatever is lurking behind those partially blue eyes, Max and I are not paying the $1.03 fine.

No Comment

At this time, Anna's client will not confirm nor deny any past relationships with Best Buy (NYSE:BBY) nor any involvement in the alleged price matching violations. He will give a brief statement later today.

Not Quite A New Day

It is indeed spring: the days are growing longer, our 70F weekends are followed by a snow filled Mondays, and Max is making batch after batch of his world renowned sohan candy. Most people assume, of course, his passion for this delicious almond and pistachio treat is simply a sweet tooth talking. Others probably think it's for the Nowruz festival. However, I am wagering his devotion has more to due with Anna's nut allergy then anything else.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, I'm not locked in here with you. You are locked in here with me - yeah" - Max

Donut Craze

While you are trying to figure out how Max started the most recent Malaysia donut craze, Anna is going to simply enjoy her sugar crash. Though, could you stop by the Winchell's on Broadway while you are out? She is getting low on glazed twists.

Max & Taxes

They were afraid of his possible legal challenges back then yet they think a new tax or some new regulations will stop him now. Silly silly people. As Max always says, you don't become "too big to fail" by accident. Maybe by eating too many ronies but not by accident.

Chili Recipes

Max was thinking about chili recipes today when it suddenly came to him: take a cool smart phone (Palm Pre), add a dash of 4G wireless (LTE) Internet, and stir in 2 tablespoons of the largest online music library (Spotify). Cook for 20 minutes and you have deliciously mobile music and one happy Max on his evening walks.

Though, like most of Max's ideas, something will undoubtedly go wrong: Palm might go bankrupt, LTE will probably be delayed, and Spotify will probably be shutdown over piracy concerns. Well, at least his chili tastes good.

Muggles

Max was wondering why some muggles are such meanies? Salem 300 years ago -- Gambia today. If we don't start acting a little nicer, I think he'll have Anna turn us all into newts.

Good Idea - Bad Idea

Good idea: Mixing food coloring with alcohol to celebrate St. Patrick's Day next to a warm fire.

Bad idea: Per Spike, mixing ethanol with alcohol to celebrate a bank robbery next to a warm fire.

Popcorn

Max was talking with Laurent Cantet over the weekend about storytelling. Personally, I did not know Max spoke French let alone with an Algerian accent. Anyway, I think their conversation came down to one question: is it better to state your ideas explicitly or implicitly on film?

Max, the always pragmatic business man, argued the explicit route gives people a sense of closure when the walk out of the theater; audiences want low hanging fruit. Lauraent, on the other hand, thought such easily gained understanding can be quickly dismissed as common sense. Absent are the meaningful post popcorn discussions and debates.

Sadly, Anna's pager went off around 6:45 and I fell victim to the '92 Silver Oak Laurent brought over long before the conversation ended.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, just remember what happened to Julius Caesar when he said that - yeah." - Maximus Sirilus Bellus Sententia

Latte Powered Batteries

Early on Anna recognized that pure electric cars like the Mini E will only succeed if they can be charged quickly. I mean, if Max needs a pot roast at 2 AM he doesn't want to wait 8 hours for the batteries to charge. Well, it only took 327 Saturday morning tall half-skinny/half-1 percent extra hot split quad shot lattes with Professor Ceder and company to deliver a new fast charging lithium ion battery.

DOH!

Max's friends with the International Botanical Congress are not helping his rather glum, reflective mood today. Everyone makes mistakes but yet the little ones can feel the worst. Publicly confusing Swida asperifolia with Cornus sessilis appears to be one of those small painful ones. And now he is afraid his new nicknames of "Duhwood" and "Whipple Boy" will haunt him for years.

Pork Comes In Barrels?

Only 578 out of more than 8,000 earmarks... better luck next time, Max.

Everyone Should Suffer

I am not sure if Max was just upset that he crashed his Veyron or perhaps the barista at Starbucks did not smile at him, but either way he must have been in a really foul mood when he suggested Equmen design a male girdle.

Break Time

It was nice to see Anna outside enjoying our spring-like weather this weekend. I know she has been focused on her aerodynamically induced negative damping models for the new Straight of Messina bridge. However, sometimes she needs to set aside her Italian pride and close friendship with Silvio -- at least for a day. Remember what happened last time someone around here burned the candle at both ends...

Window Zipper

Max is such a model citizen. For example, yesterday he was walking home from Station 4 after crew when he noticed a young man in need. He apparently lost his keys during a weekend ski trip and was quite desperate to get inside. Well, the gentleman's crowbar was a little over kill for an unlocked window that was simply painted shut. Using a window zipper, Max had it opened in no time without any scratches.

I rest very comfortably at night knowing Max is out there helping our community.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, it kind of tastes like chicken - yeah." - Max

Look! Up in the sky!

I wonder what their super powers are? Dr Manhattan, watch out!

Mmmkay

Did you know that some analgesic drugs like aspirin are metabolized by the kidneys? That's important for people with liver disorders like Max. I just wish he would listen to Anna when she says THC is mostly hepatic metabolization.

A Likely Excuse

We all know Max rarely remembers the garbage. No one ever expects him to remember the Vienna sausages at the grocery store. Those are just minor details in between meals that we overlook. But when he promises to give Gaiman the latest edits from Anna and forgets, my goodness there better be some Cordyceps sprouts poking out of his head.

Bacon

Being a well respected academic, someone asked Anna for her Erdos number, 2, yesterday after yoga class. Of course they struck up a conversation which immediately set Max's mind adrift in a stew of pot roast day dreams. He ignored the conversation until, in classic Gary Larson style, someone mentioned bacon. Instantly the core of Max's being was focused on the moment. Bacon! Only 6 steps away? A frantic search began that only ended when Anna added the missing Kevin part to the conversation.

By the way, Max > Sarah > Mel > Wes > Luke > Bacon.

Fish For Bwains

Conversations always start out on a high note at our house. For example, why does Sibyrhynchus denisoni have a brain structure radically different than it's brain case. Anna postulates that Alan Pradel did not actually find a ratfish like brain inside the fossil. Max then offers to loan the Museum National d’Histoire Naturelle his updated CAT scanner to verify. The conversation drifts to revisiting previous research given the new finding. All sorts of interesting questions pass back and forth in a rational and scientific way. So how is it that when you leave the room for 2 minutes to get some Mr Pibb you return to find Max running around Anna shouting "fish for bwains... fish for bwains"?

The Rest of the Story

Max has always been on the cutting edge of technology. Even before there was a Blackberry... before men on the moon... before color television... Max could be found tinkering with electronics.

It came as no surprise when a small school in Oklahoma asked him to teach science. You have to remember, there was a depression going on at the time. You said yes to work when you could... even if your name was Max.

Well, he found his niche in between the English classes and wood shops. Soon his obvious passion begin to inspire the young students... and not just those interested in science. No, Max helped instill a certain drive into future bankers... judges... and yes... even to shy student named Paul... interested in radio.

And now you know... the rest of the story.

Good DAY!

(with apologies to Paul Harvey Aurandt, September 4, 1918 – February 28, 2009)

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, be afraid of anyone with a pig farm - yeah." - Max