Nothing To Do

Pretty much any mooncalf can drop a slug into a parking meter. However, it takes one diabolically clever (or at least bored) person to hack a digital parking meter. I won't name any names, but...

Nothing Sacred

First, Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist and Director of the Hayden Planetarium, took away Pluto. Now, Tyson wants to keep the Earth spinning long after 2012. Well, Max is just outraged. Anna, of course, went to get her star charts.

Citizen Max

While overshadowed by questions of President Obama's citizenship, Max has also been under increasing pressure from the Birthers. At a press conference this morning, Max finally released copies of his birth certificate.

(Guest Blogger) Leslie With Another Bad Yolk

photo provided by a wren's nest farm

A customer asks the local egg farmer how much for a dozen eggs. The farmer replies $4 for the large eggs, $2 for the small, and 50 cents for the cracked ones. The customer pauses for a second and says, "Crack me a dozen large eggs."

Stress

Max has either developed trichotillomania or is a touched stressed by the new U2 360° Video Screen redesign. Bono's last minute changes always keep Max on edge (no pun intended). Once this project is done, I hope he finds a more peaceful job like Anna's stunt work.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, I don't even buy green bananas anymore - yeah." - Max

Say Cheese

While Max argued with Tammy from the world famous a wren's nest farm about the proper temperature to make mozzarella and whether store bought pasteurized milk should be used or not, Anna and I enjoyed all of the "left over" ricotta cheese. Failure never tasted so good!

Gone Fishing

Max and Anna are taking their furlough time down at a wren's nest farm.

They are hoping The Great Pumpkin will come early this year.

Technical Difficulties

Please Stand By...

Stay Alert -- Stay Alive

Despite the British lowering their terror alert, Max remains ever vigilant and always on the look out for anything out of place!

The Good Ol' Days

Max thinks some of these modern restaurants like Potager could learn a lesson or two from the old timers. For example, when you asked for a patio seat at the old Hinky Dink's they sat you on the patio -- not on the opposite side of the building next to the front door. Wonderfully fresh and local ingredients do not overshadow customer service.

25 Seconds

A number of people like to talk about how close the Apollo 11 landing came to disaster. They mention having only 25 seconds of fuel remaining, the guidance computer failure, and so on. However, those don't even compare to the scenarios Anna put Buzz through at NASA's Lunar Landing Research Facility. Yes, her training techniques might have made Sergeant Hartman look quiet and introverted, it did make the actual landing (assuming you believe it) feel almost trivial.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, I really did think the Moonlight Classic was clothing optional - yeah." - Max

Hamburgers

Max cannot stop thinking about hamburgers ever since he saw The Cherry Cricket on Man vs. Food. In fact, we have now instituted a strict policy against any mention of hamburgers during his afternoon power naps in hope of avoiding any Pavlovian responses; it's a real pain to wash the couch pillows every week thanks to his overactive salivary glands.

And That's The Way It Is

Oddly enough, Max never made it onto the "Most Trusted Man In America" list let alone at the top like Cronkite.

Magnetic Personality

During a very brief internship with NASA, Max learned several important lessons about large magnets and video tapes.

Very Subtle

Luckily for Visa, Max has yet to master the art of subtly. I mean, just look at his collection of cuff links not to mention his orange sports car and that hotel. Hence, it was pretty easy to spot Max's not so subtle "computer glitch" as it attempted to divert funds into our Grand Cayman bank account.

DMV

Max wants to know why the line at the DMV takes so long.

Modern Food Production

Anna was reviewing modern food production including Monsanto's business practices and the grass versus corn fed beef debate when she discovered [REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED - REDACTED].

Editor's Note - While we believe the information presented meets all rigorous editorial standards, we have determined this article would expose The Daily Max to numerous and costly lawsuits along with possible criminal charges per Colorado's "veggie libel laws": Colorado Revised Statutes, Title 18, Article 13, Part 105 and Title 35, Article 31, Part 101. While we believe these charges would be frivolous, we do not have enough operating capital to properly represent ourselves. Thank you.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, that really reminds me of Old Gregg - yeah." - Max

Art Critics

Max's new Internet startup is hoping to find (and of course profit from) new artistic talent. He is hoping that more and more artists are broadcasting their fresh ideas via blogs, videos, and art colonies. Max simply has to discover them first.

Of course, the percentage of interesting art is still relatively small. Sifting the good from the bad is time consuming and even the best best paid workers can only review so much bad art before requiring medical treatment. That's why Max has been funding the pigeon research at Tokyo's Keio University. A few bag's of seed cost a lot less than health insurance.

Max is still waiting to hear from interested venture capitalists.

Absolutely Shocking

Knowing Max, I'm afraid to touch any doorknobs today.

It's Tesla's birthday.

I Did Not...

We were sitting around after a round of glow in the dark golf when Anna mentioned the recent cyber attacks on US government computers. She was impressed that the botnet used for the attack only consisted of 86 computers. She turned to Max and said, "Do you..." Max immediately said no, it was not his botnet software. Anna continued with "... want to get sushi?"

I'm expecting a FBI raid any day now.

My Bologna Has a First Name

Max has called for 3 days of mourning to be be followed by a very large barbecue after the death of Oscar Mayer.

I Think It's Broken

Max rarely commands much attention as he serves peanuts and overpriced beer. In fact, even his new flight safety video hardly gets a second look.

Though, every once in while he enjoys striking fear and panic into people's hearts. Flight TCX9641 was one such occasion. Nothing like asking if there is a aircraft mechanic on board to wake people up.

Gaps

Taking a lesson from the late Robert McNamara, Anna never discloses any real or perceived pot roast portion size gaps during dinner. It would only start another arms race with Max and increase tensions before dessert.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, I bet you are pretty dizzy after that - yeah." - Max

A Time & Place For Everything

Max loves to celebrate the 4th of July. In the morning he'll wear his Uncle Sam costume around the VA singing as if it was Valhalla. In the evening he'll enjoy fireworks at the Denver Country Club that would impress Thor himself. And despite his hot dog allergy, he'll always attend the community picnic -- someone has to command the Valkyries to bring forth the drinking horns as Odin once did.

Yet, there is a limit. Max has little patience when it comes to bottle rockets after midnight. He simply wants to sleep after all of the festivities. As each pop jars the neighborhood out of bed, you'll hear him beg Fáfnir, a jötunn, to drag the perpetrators off to Muspelheim. I completely agree.

Summer Vacation

Still recovering from her last antitrust case, Anna was hoping to have a nice relaxing summer break. The backyard deck was just completed. Max picked up a new grill. And I found a great limeade mojito recipe.

Sadly, it looks like Anna will soon have to open yet another investigation into Microsoft's business practices. It's a little unexpected since their new search engine bing.com is only 2 weeks old. One would not expect unethical business practices until week 4 at the earliest.

Cigarette Boat

Max decided to grab dinner at Zengo after reading the Outside Looking In blog. He invited Ted and I along for the ride to help brainstorm some new business ideas.

Max assumes there will be a huge black market for flavored cigarettes thanks to Mr Obama. If he can only smuggle in enough product from Indonesia he could retire early. Well, Max is already retired but you know what he means.

Sadly, Max's new boat was built for comfort and not cargo space.

She's Lost Control

Sometimes Anna cannot hold her lick'r.