Till Shrek Do Us Part

In a bold move Max finally launched his dream business: themed weddings. It took a while to convince DreamWorks but in the end romance won. Franchises are available.

Travel Guides

Most travel guides are only marginally interesting to Anna. Yes, you can grab Lonely Planet's guide to Vietnam and end up in a wonderful rural market drinking your nuoc sam... with 200 other tourist carrying their copy of Lonely Planet. In fact, the only guide I have ever seen her read is Max's airport guide.

Work

Max seems far more relaxed now that he has decided on his next job.

Yes, working for the Queensland State Government as an island caretaker would have been fun. It would have given him time to complete his memoirs while educating a global audience about the Great Barrier Reef.

However, helping Elin Roberts advance medicine at Newcastle University's Centre for Life is simply a far more rewarding choice; Max really does enjoy giving back to the world community. Yes, drinking loads of brown ale followed by BLTs at The Tyne's Bar in the name of scientific research won't be as glamorous as snorkeling with sharks but Max is willing to sacrifice.

Happy Birthday, Samuel

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Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, I would not recommend getting sushi on a Tuesday - yeah." - Max

A True Nightmare

Max was rather upset this morning. He had a horrible nightmare about a world devoid of ham, bacon, pork chops, chorizo, fuet, Cumberland sausage and salami. Of course he woke up in a panic and it took a number of warm Pop-tarts to finally calm poor old Max down.

I decided not to mention the deadly swine flu outbreak in Mexico.

Don't Shake A Baby (.com)

Apple was not the only one who missed the Baby Shaker. From now on, all of Max's designs must be approved by Anna before development begins.

Don't Listen To Him

Anna, despite what Max told you, it really is 80 degrees Fahrenheit outside today.

Drinks

In case you are attending the 100th Annual AACR Meeting, Max is having drinks at Zengo after the "Enhancement of decitabine cytotoxicity by methoxyamine via inhibition of base excision repair" session. And you know how he just loves to talk about DNA modulation over mojitos.

The Chavez Effect

After reading about the Chavez Effect Max went a touch crazy with the credit card. I'm sure DHL Express shipping was a smart move and there is always the possibility of a Castro or Morales Effect. However, I don't think the book he co-wrote with Yolanda is going to strike a cord with many South American leaders like Open Veins of Latin America.

How May I Help You

It will be an interesting few weeks to say the least. Transitions teams will be working day and night on SLAs. IT engineers will be testing dial plans and voice gateways. Anna, of course, will be doubling her client contact meetings. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure Max has done this before and I bet he can handle Delta's new US based call center without too many issues.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, I am probably standing too close to you, again - yeah." - Max

Shipping & Handling

Anna knew about this week's high speed rail announcement since late March. She also heard about the big snow storm on Tuesday. Combined that could only mean one thing: being stuck inside with Max and his conspiracy theories about why Denver was not part of the new rail system.

Luckily, every hearing product in the US is labeled with a Noise Reduction Rating (NRR) thanks to the EPA and most online earplug retailers have overnight delivery. Her FedEx arrived yesterday just before the storm hit.

Back In My Day

photo provided by Sayfia, Llc

Max just realized he is getting old. It was a slow and rainy drive home after Anna's YouTube party so he decided to turn on the car radio. You remember that thing between the CD player and iPod plug popularized by Marconi? Anyway, Max happened across a new station near the top of the FM dial. Shortly after Black Metallic by Catherine Wheel began to play and his mind had drifted back to the early 1990s it hit him -- this is the next "oldies" station.

If It Ain't Broke...

You might have noticed a slight Mona Lisa smile on Anna's face as she wanders down the orange juice isle. To understand why you have to recall her big interview with PepsiCo last year. They needed someone to lead their rebranding efforts. However, the myopic executives were fixed solely on price instead of experience. Accordingly, they awarded the contract to the Arnell Group, a cheaper rival. Anna cannot help but smile at the resulting 20% drop in sales as she walks away with her carton of Minute Maid.

Why Is The Rum Always Gone?

Never one to overlook a good opportunity, Max has been working feverishly with Spike and 44 Blue Productions to cast the most anticipated television event of the year. Speed is essential given the news from the Horn of Africa and makes the recent delay quite frustrating. Max wants to cast Captain Jack Sparrow as the host but cannot locate his agent. Anna insists he is a fictional character played by Jonny Depp. Max will have none of it.

Better Than Sliced Bread?

Two words: Squeez Bacon

Sensitive Male

Max called me in a panic. He insisted that no being has ever experienced agony quite as severe as the rumblings percolating from his belly and it was imperative that I meet him at the hospital. He was in transit to Denver Health via the Paramedic Division as we spoke. They had an overall Trauma Survival Rate of 94% in 2007; Max prefers the best.

After a panicked drive and a desperate search through the hospital bureaucracy I finally found him in a hospital gown, clutching his gut, being politely scolded by Dr Stella. I don't know how many times she stressed the words 'dietary indiscretion' but he made me promise on the drive home not to tell Anna.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, just remember, spicy going in... spicy coming out - yeah." - Max

Nick Names

Speaking of casinos, on occasion Max has been known to be somewhat of a high roller in Vegas. Just last weekend he was shooting Craps at Mandalay Bay.

Sadly, late into the evening Max was caught up in the moment and he swore he was going to roll a 4 the hard way. Well, lets just say the casino called his marker pretty quickly and changed his nickname to "Easy Money".

Hopping Down the Audit Trail

I knew that nose could find a fresh pot roast 200 yards away. However, I did not know it could also find the smallest of accounting errors 1000 miles away. Luckily for the nice folks at the San Manuel Casino, it only needed 18 hours.

As a class III gaming facility, San Manuel falls under US State and Federal oversight. To avoid nasty legal action, every discrepancy no matter how small or obscure is rectified.

Well, it took Max and his auditing team just a few hours to find it: one of the employees misspelled a common English name on an IRS reporting form. If representative Betty Brown (R - Texas) had simply given them a more understandable Native American name like she has asked of Asians, perhaps Uwodige'i, this whole mess could have been avoided.

Wild Thing

Max was having drinks yesterday evening after the latest Wilco film when a friend mentioned the upcoming Spike Jonze movie. It was hard to decipher the napkin drawings, but I think Max has a few new Halloween costume ideas.

Blue

I think Max might have entered his blue period.

Hooray, Beer

You know things are bad when even a cup of freshly brewed Finca Lerida Estate coffee won't cheer up Max. He should have anticipated Zimbabwe's shift to the US Dollar and the affect it would have on prices. At least Anna has so far avoided her "I told you so" dance over the collapse of Max's mostly shady beer importing business.

Celebration Time!

Anna and I are were quite happy to hear that Max and his chief engineer, Arthur, just solved a particularly difficult design problem. Even if we did not know there was a commercial tumbleweed industry large enough to warrant a "next generation" shipping container. Even if we did not know that the Prairie Tumbleweed Farm had been working with Max and Stanford's Structures and Composites Laboratory for the past 2 years. We do know that every successful design is celebrated at the White Fence Farm with some of the best fried chicken this side of Merna, Nebraska.

Another Episode of "Creepy Sundays"

"Um, how was I suppose to know the cat would be allergic to it - yeah." - Max

No Worries

Of all of the things to worry about around here, FFI is not very high on the list for Max.

Symbols

Ever since that awful hotel in Gallup, Max always grabs the shower first when we are on the road. This morning after his traditional 25 minute shower, I found a little message carefully finger painted onto the mirror. I assume Max was testing Anna's symbolic reasoning skills with his obvious "Fish For Bwains" scribbling.

Good Idea - Bad Idea

Good Idea: Letting the beach take a bite out of your stress.

Bad Idea: Taking a bite out of the beach.

Thank You

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